Dear Internet Libertarians

You know what really gets on my fucking nerves? Those Internet Libertarians, specifically of the affluent white straight male variety, who think they’re so above it all when they say, “Democrat, Republican, who cares? They are basically the same. Two sides of the same coin. Two wings on the same bird of prey. Two components of the same stupid metaphor I am now employing because I took one political science class and I know the things. That’s why I’m not voting.”

Oh, enlightened Internet Libertarian whose basic human rights will definitely not be violated by a Romney presidency, please teach me to be more like you! I see now that I am but a sheep mindlessly following the flock over a cliff called American politics.

You are clearly more intelligent than I. That much I am not here to dispute. But do you think you could maybe answer a few of my questions first? Just a few. Yes? Maybe? Okay.

First, you do realize that the difference between the Democratic Party and the Republican Party on the issue of abortion and women’s rights is… like… a really big fucking difference. Right? I mean, on the one hand you’ve got the Republicans telling women that rape is just another method of conception and that a child conceived of rape should be seen as “a blessing.” And that’s not just the extremists. That’s Paul Ryan. You know, the guy who could become the next Vice Fucking President of the USA? And then on the other hand you’ve got the party who, I don’t know, doesn’t want to defund Planned Parenthood and overturn Roe v. Wade. Just food for thought.

Next, you surely understand that the Democratic Party and the Republican Party have almost nothing in common when it comes to LGBT rights… don’t you? One party’s nominee is the first sitting president to come out in favor of same-sex marriage while the other forcibly held a gay man down and hacked his hair off while the man kicked and screamed. Oh, and he’d also try to unmarry gay couples as well. And not let them adopt. The list goes on, really.

And what about racial minorities, Mr. Internet Libertarian? Do you think Mitt Romney currently holds 0% of the black vote because they’re just so in love with Obama or because… I don’t know… maybe they actually took a look at Mitt Romney and realized he does not give a single fuck about minorities in this country? 

I’m just saying that maybe the reason you feel like you can be so above it all when it comes to the upcoming presidential election is because you, as a white straight male, quite possibly have the lowest stakes in it. Especially when it comes to your human rights.

If the Republicans overturned Roe v. Wade, that wouldn’t impact you as much as it would a woman. If the Republicans unmarried gay couples and kept anti-hate crime legislation from passing, that wouldn’t have the same effect on you as it would an LGBT person. And if the Republicans handle race issues the same way rich white men have historically handled them, then I can’t say you will feel it as much as a person of color will.

You see, Mr. Internet Libertarian, I think I know you. You’re the person who thinks you’ve got it all figured out. You’ve read a couple of books and you’ve picked it apart and you think you know better. It’s not that I don’t understand being disenchanted with the system. Believe me, I do. It’s not that I think we have a perfect system, and no, I don’t believe it works all the time.

But what I’m saying is that when you say this election is meaningless, that both parties are the same, and that you are above American politics, I can’t help but think how easy that must be for you to say… when it is not your rights that are on the line.