Can We Agree to Disagree?

odd-bean:

jpbrammer:

odd-bean:

jpbrammer:

I just don’t understand people who say, “don’t let politics get so personal! We can disagree without being disagreeable.”

Like… what the fuck do you even mean by that?

Maybe it’s just because I live in Oklahoma where they tried to reinstate DADT for the National Guard, declared that personhood begins the moment a sperm touches an egg, and banned Sharia law even though we have more cows than practicing Muslims, but I still feel like I need to get this point across.

Here’s a sobering dose of reality for all you “can’t we all just get along” folks -  politics get personal.

Read More

dis·a·gree·a·ble/ˌdisəˈgrēəbəl/

Adjective:

Unpleasant or unenjoyable.

Unfriendly and bad-tempered.

I think you perhaps misunderstood what that word means.

In this context it means we can disagree about politics without being assjerks to each other about it.

I think you perhaps misunderstood my entire point. Maybe I do get bad-tempered when someone tries to legislate my personal life. Maybe I am downright unpleasant and unenjoyable when you tell me to “get over it” when it comes to anti-gay laws. 

Thank you for reading the dictionary to me, though. Words are hard.
 

Guess what? Bleating your opinions at people like they’re facts or like they’re the most important thing and need to be screamed at people in an angry way doesn’t win people over to your opinion. 

In fact, it does quite the opposite. Hence why it’s more productive not to be an utter douche.

Furthermore, if you yell at or become angry in your rebuttal with someone who is already in disagreement with you or is as unreasonable and disagreeable as you are, they will simply use it as an excuse to completely disagree with you and will remember that event, and possibly use it against other people who share your opinion. So your behaviour can end up causing more problems for your cause than good.

I understood your post perfectly well, and agree with the sentiment. But unfortunately, arguing with people in a douchey way will just stop people from listening. Which means you might as well not even be talking.

Comprende?

Ah, so we’re here again. The old “you’re not going to make any progress that way” thing.

For starters, I am completely calm. Your jimmies, on the other hand, seem a bit rustled. But I don’t think that’s a reason to write someone off. You know. Just because they might be upset. Anyhow, allow me to make a few points:

You do not get to control when I feel angry. Not every opinion I state has to be me trying to “win people over” to my side. Sometimes I get mad. It’s true. I admit it. Sometimes I am mad because people make laws saying I am less human than someone else. On top of that, there are people, apparently like you, who want me to take that with a smile on my face. To remain perfectly calm while people who have no idea what it’s like to be me deliberate on what I can and cannot do.

I’m a human being. I feel anger. I don’t think it’s a dirty thing to get angry. I also don’t think I owe it to you or anyone else to pretend like I’m not angry when discriminatory shit goes down on a political level.

I get that gay rights might just be your controversial dinner topic and nothing more. I get that you probably think my “number one priority” should be winning people over to my side. After all, that is what I must do to get rights, eh? That is what I must do if I ever want to get married which is totally the most important thing EVER! Right?

Shall I be a Glee character for you? Do you want an “It Gets Better” video out of me?

I am sick and tired of people threatening me with “oh, well if you’re like that, then those of us who are on the fence may not want to support you anymore.” That or “you will only drive people away from your cause.”

I am already struggling with feeling less than human in a political landscape that reinforces that notion, and I refuse to become a robot for the sake of people feeling comfortable enough to recognize my humanity. Your argument rests on the rather selfish notion that I need you to listen to me to get somewhere. Sometimes what I need is to scream into a pillow. And it feels good. Because anger is humanizing to me.

Comprende.