facts-i-just-made-up:

sexymodesttotalscreaminggenius:

I think she’s right behind the sign. Are we taking up a collection to send her back? Also, where the hell is ‘Kenia’ anyway? What sort of transportation options do we have?

Kenia is a magical land located off the shores of Paraguay. 

The only way to get to Kenia is to wish upon the second star to the right on a Thursday between Christmas and Next Christmas.

In Kenia, all the trees grow down into the ground and all their roots grow up into the sky.  The skies there are orange, except at sunset when they all turn blue.  Summer is cold there and winter is hot.  It was a beautiful land full of happy people, until the fire nation attacked.

The kind people of Kenia banded together to protect their sacred fool.  You see, the fool of any given village in Kenia is a person of honor.  A person treasured for their innocence and simple nature.  The term in Kenia has no connotations of stupidity, only of bright eyes and hope. So they found the child, Barakabama, who was ironically born to an American mother and was thus a natural U.S. citizen regardless of place of birth, but I digress.

Barakabama was secreted away and shipped to the United States to outlive the attacks. There the child thrived, grew into adulthood and protected the people of Metropolis with magic Kenian powers, for the orange skies of Kenia are lit by a weaker sun than those of the U.S.A. and moving gave this blessed one abilities to speak more intelligently than any republican, to leap tall tale accusations in a single news conference and more.

But Kenia is a dark and sad land now.  The attacks are over but their sacred idiot is gone.  So this kind lady above is trying to raise awareness.  Kenia has “Nobama” as of 2012, as is written on the side of the sign.  I make no excuse for her pathetic misuse of “there” but she means well.

So search the land for young Barakabama, savior of Kenia, who was last described as a pale white girl and should be around 18 by now, last known by the alias of “Justine Bieber” and send help her back to Kenia where she belongs.

WE MUST RETURN KENIA THERE IDIOT.