Stories

Stories are such powerful things. They can get you to root for someone you’d never ever think to root for. Protagonists run the gamut of wizard to serial killer. Stories put you behind the experiences of someone else - and when they are sad, you are sad. When they are angry, you are angry. Our hearts soar for their triumphs and break for their defeats.

Wolves may howl at the moon. But people? People look at the moon and dream up stories as to why it’s there. They make a goddess of it and give her a husband. They give her names and children and a personality and suddenly the moon has a human face. We see ourselves in everything, everything, and we carve ourselves into the world around us with stories.

I can build a bridge from you to me with a story. I can relate a rose to a slug, a prince to a popper, a lion to a lamb - all with words. There are no two things that cannot find commonplace on a blank sheet of paper when the writer sits down to type. Stories are how we link things together, and when I share my experiences, no matter how wildly they may differ from yours, you will recognize that I feel sad or happy or mad and you will see yourself in me.

And that moment, so unique to the human spirit, is everything. Because you and I have linked together in our own little way, haven’t we? Because you looked at some words that I wrote, arranged just so to portray something that I experienced, and yet you read them and thought to yourself… look at that, there I am.

A secular gay’s thoughts on Christianity

Because I am a gay rights activist, and because I am gay, people often assume I am an atheist. If I am arguing with a Christian over gay rights, they will oftentimes casually refer to me as a “non-believer” before it is ever established what I do or do not believe. And I don’t usually bother to correct them either.

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LGBT vs. Conservative Christians: Two sides of the same coin?

The LGBT community and the Christian conservative community are not two sides of the same coin with extremes that are just as bad as the other. When an LGBT activist and a Christian conservative “agree to disagree,” they walk away from the argument with the status quo unchanged. This is a status quo undeniably, irreconcilably, and ridiculously tilted in favor of the religious person.

Because religious people enjoy rights that an LGBT does not. All kinds of rights. They literally take it as persecution when they are not allowed to control things using their religion as a foundation for law. Also, mischaracterization of LGBT people and Christians does occur - but let’s dig deeper into that, because those are not equivalents either. Mischaracterization of a Christian may manifest itself into being called a “bigot” or a funny cartoon in The Onion. Mischaracterization of a gay person may result in accusations of pedofilia, “sinful” behavior, and even death/hate crimes.

So what bothers me the most about this argument of false equivalency is that both sides are just as bad as the other and in order to be “middle of the road” let’s call out the “bad stuff” in the LGBT community because surely they are just as bad as the “bad stuff” in the Christian conservative community! I mean, we’re both just two sides in the culture war, right?

Except one side is fighting for rights, and the other side is fighting to take those rights away. One side has come up with attack after attack along the lines of “let’s put gay people behind electric fences” and “gay people deserve death” while the other side comes up with a “well god isn’t real and you’re a bigot.”

One side has a higher murder rate, suicide rate, and hate crime rate. The other side cries persecution when gay people push BACK.

I agree with being civil. I agree with trying to change people’s minds we don’t agree with. They are, in fact, the people we NEED to be reaching.

I don’t agree with doing that at the expense of our convictions, with appeasing the other side by saying “our extreme is just as bad as yours,” and pretending like we are just two players in a game of chess who have reached a stalemate.

Because we are winning, after all. So far. We have a president who just came out in favor of same-sex marriage. We have a major party who has just added marriage equality into their platform. We have every reason in the world to be optimistic - and I, for one, would like to win our rights without having to throw ourselves at the mercy of those who have, time and time again, proven they just don’t fully recognize our humanity.

Evangelicals: Less like Jesus, More Like Guys Who Crucified Him

American Evangelical Christians are a lot less like the apostles of Jesus, and a lot more like the guys who nailed him to a cross.

Now, I may be an agnostic homosexual (read: heathen sodomite), but I did go to Catholic school for what seems like forever. And I am from Oklahoma. And, yes, I have read the Bible. So when it comes to Jesus…. sure, I know the guy.

And you know what? He seems pretty cool. I like him. Why? Because, to me, Jesus was the kind of person who stuck up for the little guy. According to the Bible he was big on healing the sick and helping the poor. What’s there not to like about that?

Another thing I like is that he was willing to go against the status quo. He rolled with a posse of smelly homeless dudes and a prostitute. He had his own ancient Breakfast Club! He also preached against the evils of greed and violence. I mean, he was a real rebel! So much so that the Roman Empire, the biggest upholder of the status quo at the time, labeled him a threat.

Sure, Jesus has been painted in several different lights to fit several different religious and political ideologies. I get that. But from everything I’ve read, I think it’s safe to say that Jesus was at least a real mover and shaker. For me, he’s right up there with the other “radicals” like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. Because, well, Jesus was a man who was interested in changing things.

Hmm… changing things. Let’s keep that in mind as we flash-forward to his modern day fan club. 

Who is the church of Jesus today? Well, that’s difficult to say. There really are all kinds of Christians out there. There are Catholics, Baptists, Pentecostals, Christian hipsters who frequent coffee shops… But you know what’s easier to answer? Who is the LOUDEST church of Jesus today? That’s easy, we say in unison - the Evangelicals.

And who are the Evangelicals? They’re the ones on your TV screen asking for money, first of all. Many of them are also fundamentalists. But beyond that, they are a large Christian group with a lot of power in American politics. 

And what are their politics? We call it social conservatism: the idea that morality can be and should be regulated by the government. AKA the “small government” Republicans trying to regulate your bedroom activities.

This group often cites Jesus as the spiritual guide for their beliefs. In this way, they can justify being against certain things.

And, let me tell you, in the history of American Evangelicalism and Christian fundamentalism… they have been against a lot of stuff.

Remember when the super-duper Christian South realized slavery was against the teachings of Jesus and immediately freed all their slaves? No? Oh. That’s probably because they were against the Emancipation Proclamation.

Remember the civil rights movement in the 60’s? When Martin Luther King Jr. and the Southern Christian Leadership Conference sought out “the promised land” and equality in this country? Yeah. They were against that.

Remember when two people of different races could finally celebrate their love openly and get married? … They definitely weren’t for that.

How about when feminists said women deserve the right to vote? Well, Evangelical Christians were kind of hoping they would just stay in the kitchen. You know. Where “God” told them to be.

And what about today? What about gay people trying to get equality and respect in a world that has historically oppressed them?

Even the president came out and said he was for that! But not Evangelical Christians. No. See, they would kind of prefer it if gay people just died out.

And, FYI, they’re still pretty shitty about racial issues and women’s rights.

Have you noticed a pattern here? No? Maybe? I think you do, but I’ll spell it out for you just in case.

Evangelical Christians are very interested in keeping things the same.

No matter how bad it might be for someone else, they are interested in keeping the status quo.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on now! What’s the deal?! 

If Jesus was in the business of changing things… why is such a sizable chunk of mainstream Christianity trying to keep things the same?

If Jesus was all about the poor and downtrodden, then why are Evangelical Christians all about oppressing them?

If Jesus was against the status quo, then why have Evangelical Christians become guardians of the status quo?

But, then again, when have people ever been interested in actually following the teachings of some guy in a bathrobe preaching peace and love?

Between the times of Jesus of Nazareth and today, there has been so much bloodshed and acts of hatred carried out in the name of Christianity that it would make your head spin. 

So, yeah… maybe this is nothing new. Still, I can’t help but think that if Jesus had been alive today instead of back then, and he was still trying to meddle and go about changing things, then his biggest enemies wouldn’t be agnostics or atheists. They would be Evangelical Christians.

Who Killed David Kato?

What does American Evangelicalism have to do with the murder of Uganda’s most prominent LGBT activist? More than you’re probably comfortable with.

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Leviticus 18:22

“‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.”

Well, you got me! You pulled out that Leviticus verse and really told me what was what. Geez, I didn’t even know that all my gallivanting around with the dudes was a one way ticket to hell! I mean, I’m not a Christian, so I don’t really adhere to the same moral code as you. But still… thanks for having my back, bro.

You know, ordinarily I wouldn’t do this - but since you seem super interested in living by the book, I think it’s only fair that I return the favor and let you know about some sinful stuff you might be doing.

You ready? Great! Let’s get started.

  1. Tattoos: “You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the Lord.” Leviticus 19:28 

    While your tribal tattoo is totally awesome, brah, it is also unfortunately condemning you to an afterlife of eternal suffering. That’s the bad news. The good news is that, because of this rule, there is no doubt a shit ton of Ed Hardy down there. Well, that’s actually probably worse news. People with tribal tattoos like Ed Hardy though, right? Dude? Broseph? No homo.

  2. Cotton/Polyester Blend:  “You are to keep My statutes. You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together.” Leviticus 19:19

    That sweatshirt of yours was an abomination before the Lord ever expressly forbade it. Turns out, though, that it’s also a legitimate sin. You better hope hell is exothermic, or it might feel a bit warm down there with that thing on! Better pick up some Ed Hardy swim trunks before you go. No homo.

  3. Gold Jewelry: “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.” Timothy 2:9

    Bad news for fans of “bling” and gaudy gold cross necklaces - you’re committing a major no-no in the eyes of the Lord. I don’t even want to think about what happens when you wear a cotton/polyester blend shirt and a gold necklace! You know, based on all these rules so far, hell is starting to sound an awful lot like Jersey Shore…

  4. Shrimp: “But whatever is in the seas and in the rivers that does not have fins and scales among all the teeming life of the water, and among all the living creatures that are in the water, they are detestable things to you.” Leviticus 11:10

    Wanting to trim some inches off that waistline? Why not give the No-Sin Diet a try! Because all that shellfish you’ve been eating has really racked up the sin points. No more Red Lobster for you!

  5. Divorce: “And He said to them, ‘Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.’” Mark 10:11-12

    Ah yes, here we are. The biggest threat to the sanctity of marriage that isn’t gay dudes. Isn’t it interesting that we live in a country where people are allowed to get divorced on a daily basis, but two men or two women who genuinely love each other aren’t allowed to get married? No? Maybe that’s just me.

So, what do you think? I bet you’ve been doing one or two things on the list and sinning without even knowing it! Aren’t you glad I filled you in? Or maybe you think these rules are archaic and no longer apply to today’s society. Oh, except for the one about gay dudes of course. Because…. well… No homo.