JOHN PAUL

“Do you like that, faggot?” he asked, waving the hotdog wiener in my face. “Come on, you know you like it.”

I awkwardly tried to avert my eyes and focused instead on my lunch tray. I had been through this many times before. This was the drill. Just ignore him and he’ll lose interest and go away. Don’t acknowledge him, don’t even look at him…

Then I felt the cold, wet slap of a hotdog wiener across my face.

“I’m talking to you faggot!” he said.

I wiped my face with my napkin and continued to look down at my food.

It wouldn’t do any good to fight back. He was three times bigger than me and the rest of the school would no doubt be on his side if I tried to defend myself. I was a slightly effeminate, nerdy kid in a small town in Oklahoma. Teachers didn’t even like me, much less the students.

No, the best plan of action was to try to not call attention to myself and just keep looking down at my stupid lunch tray. 

“I thought you liked wieners!” he said, him being the persistent prick he was. “What’s wrong? You don’t like my wiener?”

My experiences with bullying stick with me to this day. They still haunt me, and unfortunately, they left me with quite a few issues to work out.

But there was some poetic justice for me. I went to college, came out of the closet, became fabulous, and my bullies are probably creeping on my Facebook right now and crying and trying to call me to apologize but they can’t because I changed my number. At least, in my mind, that’s what’s up.

Of course, not every victim is so lucky. While my bullies are busy being non-factors, I know one bully who apparently never had to answer for his crimes… and he’s running for president of the United States.

While in prep school, Mitt Romney orchestrated an attack on an openly gay classmate. Romney and his cohorts pinned a student named John Lauber to the ground and cut his hair off. Lauber had apparently returned from spring break with long, blond hair over one eye.

Romney, during the act, said things like “he can’t look like that!” and “that’s wrong!”

Lauber according to eye-witness reports, only cried and screamed.

And that’s not all. Romney also harassed a closeted student named Gary Hummel by yelling out “atta girl!” every time Hummel answered a question in class.

John Lauber has since passed away, and it doesn’t seem like Romney ever apologized or even regretted harassing him. I mean, unless you count what he told Fox News about the incident:

“I don’t remember that.”

His classmates, however, seem to remember. Fiver other students gave their account of what happened, and all agreed that the incident still troubles them to this day.

I can only imagine what it would be like for Lauber if he was still alive. I think about how I would feel if one of my bullies ever became a viable candidate for president of the United States. What a scary thought.

There are some who dismiss this as a prank - but let’s be clear, bullying is a serious issue, and it is a tactic employed by weak-minded and insecure to feel bigger than someone else and better about themselves.

How would you feel if someone who had tormented you was running for such an esteemed and respected office? How would you feel if it had been your child that was pinned down and attacked?

…And Romney wants to pretend like this issue is irrelevant?

In a time when LGBT youth are killing themselves because of bullying, how exactly is this irrelevant?

Let me tell you something. Mitt Romney is no different from the guy who called me a faggot in the lunch room and hit me with his slimy, wet wiener.

Okay, that was gross. But you understand.

The only difference is that Romney is a grown up now and is expressing his hatred for people who are different in other ways - check his stance on same-sex marriage, for example.

So now we know the truth - Mitt Romney is a bully. So now my question for you is… what are you going to do about it? Are you just going to sit there looking at your lunch tray hoping that he just goes away, or are you going to get up and vote in November? 

I don’t know about you, but I won’t be voting for a bully. I hope you’ll share this if you feel the same.

So, it finally happened. President Barack Obama explicitly stated that he is for same sex marriage in the United States.

YAY!

He did it! He evolved! I feel like my little Charmeleon is becoming a full-fledged Charizard right before my very eyes!

And what excellent timing! Maybe not as excellent as… say… a few years ago, but still, coming on the heels of North Carolina’s passing of Amendment One, a piece of legislation banning civil unions, this does soothe my wounds a bit.

I mean, North Carolina totally looks like the white girl on Hairspray who kept trying to stop the beat!

But after the celebration and partying and giddiness is over comes the less fun part… the reactions, the analysis, the cynicism (partly deserved) and the worries that this may negatively affect Obama’s reelection campaign. 

And I’ll be here with you for that, and we can figure it out together. 

But for now, let’s take this in.

This is the first sitting American president to ever come out in support of same sex marriage. And regardless of his motives… I think the sun shines just a little brighter today for me and for our allies trying to achieve equality.

-John Paul

Some community members in Lenoir City, Tennessee are asking for an investigation of high school yearbook adviser James Yoakley.

What is Mr. Yoakley’s crime? He allowed an article in the 2012 yearbook titled “It’s OKAY to be gay.”

The student-written article profiled Zac Mitchell, a gay student who discussed bullying and coming out and how his family donates to pro-gay causes and breast cancer research. I know. Heinous stuff, isn’t it?

After the article came out, an email started circulating amongst the ultra-religious members of the community. They had this to say:

“It is time to take a stand for our faith. We aren’t being called to risk our lives and go before a king like Nehemiah – but our walls are broken down and our gates are burning.”

Wow! Who would have known that a call for tolerance and acceptance would be taken as an act of war by these supposed “Christians?”

Van Shaver, a board member in a nearby district, even went so far as to say that Yoakley should be fired and arrested.

“Arrested for what?!” You may ask. Child sex abuse, of course.

Shaver said that if Yoakley had asked about the sexual orientation about any child, then that must make him a sex offender.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had just about enough of the ultra-religious right’s war on gay teens in this country. They’ve helped pass laws that make it easier for bullies to target LGBT students. They’ve claimed that gay rights are an affront to their religious freedoms. And now, after one brave high school student shared his story in the yearbook, they are trying to criminalize the yearbook adviser.

Enough is enough.

Now here’s what you can do to help stand with Mr. Yoakley and the article of acceptance he decided to publish.

Like the Facebook page - Take A Stand Against The Ignorance in Lenoir CIty

The people trying to get Mr. Yoakley fired also made a Facebook page called “Take A Stand Lenoir City,” and I encourage you to go there and RESPECTFULLY disagree with the way they are handling this incident.

These people are certainly not acting very Christ-like right about now.

LGBT students in high schools across our nation are under attack, and they need all the help and support we can give.

Oklahoma,

It is with great sadness that I write you this letter. You see, I have made the difficult decision to leave you.

It’s not that I don’t love you. I do.

I loved the summer days we spent sitting on the porch drinking sweet tea, when the breeze would roll in and cool us off every once and a while like it knew exactly when it was needed. I loved walking barefoot through the grass with you after a hard storm and you could still smell the rain. I loved the nights we’d throw blankets into the bed of your truck and drive out to the middle of nowhere and lie beneath the starry sky - the kind of sky you can only find here - and talk ‘til the sun came up. Some nights I look up and remember those times and I smile.

I loved catching fireflies in mason jars and rolling in the grass and laughing so hard we cried. I loved making scarecrows out of horse hay when the leaves turned and fishing in the creek when the weather was just right. You are childhood to me, you are familiar to me, you are home.

Like I said… I love you. I really do.

And that’s why leaving you is that much harder for me. Because as much as there is to love about you… there are also things I hate about you.

“Every person who is guilty of the detestable and abominable crime against nature, committed with mankind or with a beast, is punishable by imprisonment in the penitentiary not exceeding ten years.”

“Marriage in This state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman. ”

You know, sometimes, I feel like I’m not wanted here at all.

And I can’t put up with it any longer. I can’t take the table scraps of affection you throw my way and pretend it’s love anymore. And I know you’re too stubborn to change for me. Oh, do I know that! Even if the rest of the world told you that you were wrong… it wouldn’t matter.

I really hope that maybe, one day, you’ll change. I really do. But it’s not worth it for me to stay anymore. Because it’s not fair… you’re not fair.

This is my home, and if I can be buried here, I should be able to get married here.

I’ll miss you,

John Paul

I can’t say I know how he got there. Nor can I remember when he first appeared. It seems like all my life he’s been there, and I guess I never questioned why. But one day I gathered up the courage to address the man standing on my back, and our exchange went a little like this.

“Hello!” I call up to him. “How are you doing up there?”

“Splendid!” he replies. “You can see everything from up here!”

“Cool, cool,” I say. “I’m gad you’re enjoying yourself. If you don’t mind, though, I’d like to ask you a question.”

“Of course!” he says jovially. “What’s on your mind?”

“Well it’s been brought to my attention that you are standing on my back,” I say. “If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to stand up for a while and see things the way you see them up there.” 

“Oh…” he says, a change in his tone. “Well, I’d like to help, but I’d be considerably shorter if I step down from here. You see, I am somewhat taller with you lying there under my feet. I’m sorry, friend, but I can’t help you.”

I mull this over in my head. I don’t remember him pushing me down and getting on top of me. I don’t even know what it’s like to stand up - maybe it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I certainly hate to inconvenience this man who I barely know. All the same, though, I do think I’d like to try life not face down in the dirt.

“Well that’s just silly!” I say. “All you have to do is step down just a little bit. Then I can get up and we can stand together! The two of us! Maybe we can even go for a walk or something.”

“No,” he says plainly. “No, I’m afraid not. I feel badly for you, though! Things are great up here, but it sure would lessen my experience if I had to step down and share it with you. Sorry again!”

“That’s preposterous!” I shout. “You can’t just keep me down here! My back hurts and you’re really heavy and I’m starting to really not like you at all!”

“Oh!” he says, as if something just clicked in his head. “Oh… Oh my! How embarrassing, how embarrassing. I see why you’re upset, friend. Let me clarify. I certainly didn’t put you down there! No, not at all. My great-great-great-grandfather did! I apologize for the misunderstanding.”

Again, I think over what he just said. True, pushing me down is a much greater offense than simply standing there. Why, he probably had nothing to do with it! Still, you’d think the least he could do would be to… I don’t know… get off of my back.

“I understand,” I say. “It wasn’t you, but all the same, I’d appreciate it if you got off of me.”

“Hmm…” he says, mulling this over. “No.”

I am astonished at his cruelty. Would it really inconvenience him that much to step down so that I can breathe and stand up?

“That’s fucked up!” I say.

“Hostile…” he says. “Very hostile. I’m sensing hostility in you.”

“Yes I’m hostile!” I say. “I’m angry! I’m mad! I want you off my fucking back!”

“Language!” he snaps.

“Get. The Fuck. Off me!” I say.

“Well that’s not going to get you anywhere, is it?” he says. “You won’t convince me to do anything with that attitude.”

“I tried being polite!” I say, seething with rage. “It didn’t get me anywhere!”

“You attract more bees with honey than vinegar,” he says, blinking down at me.

I begin to feel that this is useless. Talking aout it isn’t doing me any good. So I start to shake and writhe and, with everything I have, try to push him off.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” he says. “The hell do you think you’re doing down there?”

“I’m pushing you off,” I say. “I’m fed up.”

“This is violence!” he shrieks. “VIOLENCE!”

“Violence?!” I say, astonished. “What the actual fuck? You’re the one who won’t get off of me! This is your fault!”

“My fault?!” He says, genuinely surprised. “Ha! Don’t make me laugh! You’re the one causing a ruckus here, not me. You better calm down before I call the cops.”

I am perplexed at this. Surely, the police would understand that I am merely trying to get this person off my back and that my actions are justified. I continue my struggle.

“Okay buddy,” the man says, “I’m calling the cops.”

I’m not worried. The law is surely on my side, and when they arrive, I am actually relieved to see them.

“What seems to be the problem here?” they ask.

“This person here lying under my feet is causing quite a hullabaloo,” he says. “I feel very unsafe and I was hoping you could help me out here.”

I open my mouth to protest this, to maybe share my side of the story, but before I can, the police officer is in my face.

“Calm down, you!” he says, contempt in his voice. “Or I’ll be forced to take extreme measures!”

I keep my mouth closed.

“Good,” he says, and turns to the man standing on top of me. “Let us know if there’s another problem, sir.”

“Will do!” he says, smiling.

The police head out.

“I didn’t want to do that, you know,” he says to me. “You forced me.”

I sigh, brokenhearted. I look to my left - another man standing on someone else. 

I look to my right - same deal.

Indeed, all around me, there are people standing on top of other people. Some are even standing on many people piled high on one another. And I see many like me… the sad, dejected many, who struggle and sob and hurt. I look up at the man standing on my back and spit out some loose dirt in my mouth so I can speak.

“One day,” I say. “One day I’ll join you up there. And when I do, I won’t dare treat anyone the way you’ve treated me. I will carefully study my feet so that I know where I stand, and I will be vigilant to see if I am standing on another.”

“I wish you the best of luck with that,” he says, smiling wryly. “Truly, I do.”

Dear President Boren,

My name is John Paul Brammer and I am a junior at the University of Oklahoma.

Coming to this university was scary at first, and I imagine it is for most people. It was a change, and I was worried about making new friends, getting involved in the right clubs, and making sure I got the most out of my freshman year.

This is certainly a difficult time for anyone. It is even more difficult, unfortunately, for members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. We worry about if our new roommates will be accepting or if we will be targeted for our sexual orientations. And, given the wave of gay suicides on college campuses across the nation, I think we have a right to be worried.

Now, about the gender-neutral housing policy. It should be passed. Period. This is not about housing, this is not about catering to a small group of people at the expense of others, this is not about policy. President Boren, this is about respect.

The option of having gender-neutral housing would benefit members of the LGBT community (and straight students who find it more appealing) who have expressed that they feel marginalized on this campus. The arguments against it typically go like this….

1. This is Oklahoma, and Oklahoma is not ready for gender neutral housing.

2. Donors will pull their funding if we allow gender neutral housing.

Well, President Boren, they are right about one thing. This is Oklahoma.

This is Oklahoma, where after Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was repealed, our representatives proposed a bill attempting to keep gays and lesbians from serving in the National Guard.

This is Oklahoma, where Representative Sally Kern said that gay love is more dangerous than terrorism.

This is Oklahoma, where, right here in Norman, a gay teen took his own life after a toxic city debate over LGBT history month.

This is Oklahoma, and members of the LGBT community are well aware of that fact. But this much is also true, President Boren - the LGBT community is here at OU, and we are Oklahoma too.

Now, about donors pulling their funding. First, I must ask, what kind of people would stop supporting the University of Oklahoma for allowing an optional gender-neutral housing arrangement? Well, let’s just pull a sample… shall we?

As an OU graduate and donor, I am shocked and appalled at this. What has happened to common decency in our society? Men live with men and women live with women until marriage, unless of course they want to “shack up” together.. If you want to create specific floors where gays and lesbians can live together, so be it, but if President Boren passes this, the University of Oklahoma will never get another dime of my money.
                                                           - a donor comment at the OU Daily

If you choose not to support gender-neutral housing because people like this will stop donating money, President Boren, then I’m sorry to say… that makes me cringe.

Because you are our president.

You are here to ensure your students are given the best possible academic experience, and you are here to ensure your students are safe. 

And if someone were to tell you that they will stop supporting this university just because you are seeking to make a better environment for your students who have vocalized that they do not feel adequately secure on this campus, then I would expect you to not want their support at all. Because they do not want to help your students, and that shouldn’t sit well with you.

What I hope today’s protest communicated to you is that some of your students are feeling marginalized, unsafe, and unsatisfied with the policies currently in place. And I certainly hope you heard them.

I trust that you will do the right thing.

Sincerely,

John Paul Brammer