A message from Anonymous
What's your book all about?

I’m glad you asked!

It’s called “The Mexicandroid: ¡Half Mariachi, Half Machine!”

Here’s the pitch that got it into Amazon’s Breakthrough Novel Award contest: 

“They say he just rolled in with the tumbleweeds one day, the mysterious mariachi without a past. But when demons from a former life rear their ugly heads, it’s his past that Antonio Salas must confront head on or risk losing everything he loves. 

Antonio couldn’t tell you how he ended up in the colorful, colonial town of San Miguel. He also couldn’t tell you where he got his old wooden guitar, and he definitely couldn’t tell you how he knew to play it so well. Music, to him, comes as naturally as breathing. His talents earn him the title “El Mariachi Milagroso,” The Miraculous Mariachi, and it isn’t long before the shrewd Anita Hernandez offers him a permanent gig at her cantina downtown and an apartment upstairs.

His song wins him the heart of the governor’s beautiful daughter, Isabella, and the two are soon married with a baby on the way. Things couldn’t be better for Antonio Salas, and whatever memories he’d lost before could stay lost for all he cared.

 That is, until the cantina is bombed, Anita is killed, and Isabella is kidnapped. His only clue? A strange letter from Isabella’s captor, addressed to Antonio and signed, Your Maker.

Together with Anita’s street-savvy young daughter, Eppie, and San Miguel’s most notorious bandit, Sancho, Antonio must embark on a journey to save his wife and confront his past. A past made even stranger when Antonio makes a bizarre discovery: he is half robot.

The Mexicandroid
is a wild romp, assembled out of equal parts humor and heart, sci-fi and adventure. On the way, Antonio will battle with bandits and wrestle with robots, but it’s his struggles with his own humanity that really make this story a song worth singing.”

Now while the title is certainly an attention grabber, don’t write it off as being in the same vein as “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” and “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.” The premise of my novel was done to make fun of what I see as a pop fiction trend of selling books on the ludicrousness of the title. And so the punchline of my book is that it actually has high literary themes. 

The central theme of The Mexicandroid is identity, followed closely by autonomy. It’s based on my experiences as a biracial person and the internal conflicts that can arise from that. It’s also about control, and is a contemplation on how much freedom you have to identify yourself.
It got a great review in Publishers Weekly, and I hope to get it to an agent very soon. 

Doing the final edits for my novel before I send it off to the agents. I feel like an overbearing mother getting her son ready for his first homecoming dance.

“Here, tuck in your shirt…”

“Mom…”

“Oh, and your tie is a mess! Here, let me…”

“Mom…”

“And are you sure about those shoes? Really? Because you have that other pair that might look better…”

“MOM!”

Do any of my fellow screenwriters want to join me on a fun little project? I’d like to do a series of vignettes on different kinds of non-traditional relationships. Maybe five or six stories that can either be interwoven or kept completely separate. I think it would be great practice for writing relationships and maybe we can make some connections with each other.

I Will Not Chase You

I will not chase you

Boy with cute hair

I will not chase you

Anywhere

I will not text you first

At least not anymore

I will not leave you messages

Or knock on your door

I will not wait for your name

To pop up on my phone

And I’ll try not to miss you

Even when I’m alone

Maybe someday I’ll smile

For a moment or two

As I think back on us

And the stuff we would do

But for now I’ll move on

Because I’m a busy man

And a life chasing you?

Well, that just isn’t the plan

So just know when you leave

You boys with cute hair

That I will not chase you

I will not chase you 

Anywhere

I knew the moment our lips touched

That we were not made of the same stuff

That you would never be mine

And I would never be yours

That I would not fall asleep to your steady sighs

Or wake up to your hands caressing my thighs

But damn

Dick game ridiculous.

Because it’s so difficult for me to write creatively while I’m depressed, I think I’m just going to write a long essay logging my experiences for the past month or so while I’ve been depressed. I think I’m calling it “This is Your Life on Sad.” But who would really want to read something like that?

I am writing a short screenplay about two guys who hook up in Mexico City. One guy is from there and speaks Spanish and the other guy is from the USA and speaks only English. 

The first meeting is magical. Even though they can’t really understand each other, they can tell they have a connection. They spend the night together and  begin to fantasize about what the future has in store for them.

But as time goes on and the guy from the USA picks up Spanish and is able to communicate more fluently, they begin to realize that they aren’t compatible whatsoever and ultimately decide to go their separate ways.

It’s about how we romanticize people we don’t really know. We see who they are on the surface and they might give us a few scant details for our imaginations to take and run away with, but ultimately that is the fluffy stuff of dreams. We make narratives for the people in our lives, almost as if they are characters in a story instead of real people who see the world in a way that is completely different from us.

And when we discover that someone doesn’t fit into the cute little box we made for them, we lose interest. 

I’m so happy to announce that my screenplay Mimes! just won the Centennial Scriptwriting Award. I’ll be getting $500 for myself and $25,000 to turn my project into a series of six webisodes and a graphic novel. I’m so excited to begin work on production and to see my story come to life for everyone to enjoy.

Mimes! is a genre-bending tale about college film student Phillip Green and his quest to express his feelings to the love of his life. Too bad he tends to choke up when he has something to say. Oh, and it also sucks that he chose the day of the mime apocalypse to do it. After a university research project goes wrong, zombie mimes swarm the campus and threaten to sap the world of all color and sound. Phil better hurry up before he loses his ability to speak entirely!

What follows is an adventure through film history. From Georges-Jean Méliès and silent French cinema to zombie thrillers and cheap horror flicks, Mimes! represents them all as Phil must battle hordes of mimes while his life slowly becomes a silent film. 

I certainly hope you all enjoy this strange tale, and that you watch all the way up to “Fin.” 

Some people go their whole lives without ever meeting a kindred spirit. But when you meet one, you just know. You know, sometimes without speaking or saying much at all, that they see the world as you do. That they are afraid of the same things you’re afraid of. That they laugh at what makes you laugh and they hurt the way you hurt. It comforts me to think of them sometimes, those kindred spirits roaming the Earth that I’ll never meet. And I hope if they ever feel sad or alone, as I know they must, that they stop and think of me too and know that, at least by one other person in the world, they are understood.

Followers, I would love to talk novel ideas with you! I have three new ones that I want to write. Who is down for a little brainstorm action?

I’m so excited! Publishers Weekly reviewed my first novel, The Mexicandroid: ¡Half Mariachi, Half Machine! and… well, I’ll just let you guys read what they had to say. My novel will be available for purchase very soon.

“In this often farfetched, always earnest, and wholly original novel, Antonio Salas plays beautiful music for the people on the streets of San Miguel. A terrible bombing in his home kills his beloved landlady Anita and, after the smoke clears, his pregnant wife Isabella is missing. Left with an oblique ransom note from his “maker,” and Anita’s unpredictable daughter Eppie, he must find a way to get his wife back. Just when all arrows are pointing towards a straightforward quest story, a mysterious woman enters the picture, showing Antonio that he is, inexplicably, a cyborg. After adding a few tricked out gadgets and lasers to his body, and teaming up with Sancho, a “hacker and con artist,” Antonio is ready to rescue Isabella from her kidnapper, the villain Balthazar. The journey that follows is one part action movie and one part Pinocchio. It is often quite moving, a sincere contemplation on personal agency and control, especially in times of grief. Sancho says, “You must suffer being a great many things when you allow others to tell you who you are,” and the words elevate Antonio’s clanging laser arm from caricature to a place of compassion. While the story teeters consistently on an implausible premise, the driving narrative and earnestness of the voice ultimately save the day.”